riddlermarc

There’s a bloke in one of the beds opposite me that came in earlier today. He looked really rough earlier and I immediately could see he wasn’t doing so well. His mum has been up all afternoon with the curtains pulled round his bed and he has been making some pretty scary sounds.
Then she just went out into the hallway and made a quick call, five minutes later his dad and brother turned up looking really sad and shaking their heads at each other (out of eye shot of the bloke). Man it is so sad, if he’s “on his way” it is a piss-poor way to go and across the entire ward there is an air of sadness.. I started to cry a little to myself just now, hoping it’s not the way I finally go with my family looking so sad etc. Then again I want to be able to say Goodbye to them, never good when a parent outlives their kid(s) though, I’d imagine.

I feel so very, very sad at the moment

Edit:He made it through the night, had a bit of a rough one but he’s a fighter..

They AREN’T going to plump for surgery as the neurosurgeons think the spacing of the three lesions covers too much ground so it’s not viable. Radiotherapy is going to be the way forward, I have to wait to see Dr Hamilton tomorrow morning to find out what the plan of attack is but probably something like I had on my head (ten days of average doses of twelve minutes a time).
They are fairly confident it will at least halt, if not shrink the lesions and give me most, if not all of my leg mobility back. They are pleased with my current leg strength and how I am responding to the steroids up to now.
I have a catheter (wee bag) in at the moment as the spine problem is refusing to acknowledge when I have to have a wee, they don’t know if this will change after I have the radiotherapy.. I may have to have a bag strapped to my leg permanently but as long as I don’t wear jeans quite as tight as I used to I should be fine… more positive than negative but they just can’t be sure and it’s a small price to pay for a life extension.

I feel a little more confident after what has happened the last few days, I don’t think I’m going to die any time soon so that is a definite bonus!

I had a bedside visit this morning from Dr Simmons’ Registrar (or was it SHO/HOSO, I can never remember what they are!), she checked me over and was satisfied with what was going on. It seems she is pressing the neurosurgeons today for an answer as to whether they think surgery is the way forward, if it is too risky etc. The choices going forward are:
1 - Surgery to remove the main, middle lesion and then targeted radiation on all of the lesions.
2 - If surgery is too complicated/dangerous then radiotherapy alone is the way to go. Problem with this is that because the spinal cord involved they have to be careful how much radiation they can give me..

So, a little more waiting but the lady who saw me earlier said things will be done asap and definitely this week.. I am pretty scared to be honest, never been the bravest for things like this but the words “surgery” and “spine” should never be used in the same sentence!

Will let you know what’s going on as/when I hear anything