Morning update (21/08)
Well, had a completely crap night’s sleep and I’m paying the price for it now - I am knackered! Woke at 4am due to a dream and couldn’t really get back to sleep until just a few minutes before I was woken for obs and breakfast! Then it was straight down for another dose of the Radiotherapy and then back up for a wash/change and to get my bed sorted.
Now I am sat in the chair by my bedside (makes a nice change) listening to some music and doing a little surfing.. I have this real compulsion to go back to the British Museum as/when I am up for it in the near future. I haven’t been in a good ten years or so and, it’s hard to describe, it sticks in my heart that the longevity of a single man can be shown and continue past his death. There was an exhibit years ago that was dated from 10,000BC and when I touched it with the palm of my hand I felt some sort of kinship with whomever had carved it.. sounds odd but it’s true. It was weird that someone else, over 10k years ago had touched this large piece of rock with their bare hands and decided it was ripe for carving. Then it gets dug up well in the future and I get the chance to put my hands on the same piece of rock - that spans time, history and language constraints.
When I initially did see this all those years ago, it really did change my whole outlook on life and the fact that things live on after you go (much like the fact that you live on through your kids).. so I have an overwhelming need to go back and reaaffirm all this, what with what is happening to me right now.
I think things are starting to sink in a little, although I obviously know what’s going on it doesn’t always seep down straight away to that core level in you where you can taste it, smell it in every breath and ecperience it in EVERYTHING you do.
I have H coming up after lunch and then Mum and Steve a little later, it will be good to see them for a while 