riddlermarc

Well, after waiting an hour in the waiting room to see the Consultant we finally found out why - Basingstoke had forgotten to send through my scan results and Southampton were chasing them there and then to get a faxed copy. We went in to see the Consultant (my old doctor Dr Simmons) and he checked me over with no problems found. Then he said as soon as they received the fax copy he’d ring me to let me know the results.. as we were leaving the consulting room, a nurse rushed in the fax hot off the presses and we went back in the consulting room.

A quick read of the report later, Dr Simmons said that everything seemed okay - no oddities in my trunk, liver, lungs etc and my head showed no change from the previous scan four months ago.. all in all a glowing report again! I was convinced I wouldn’t be so lucky as to have two good reports in a row but hey, I was wrong.

So tonight we are off to my sister’s 18th birthday party, should be a great night - everyone has been told to dress up smart and NO jeans.. so shirt, trousers and jacket for me

Thanks to all the wellwishers who send us messages this morning, maybe your good thoughts DID help to swing things - thank you

Off to my next check-up in twenty minutes, will update as/when I get home.. keep ‘em crossed!

Well it’s just over a week till my next check-up and I am already getting worried and more than a little scared - can I be really lucky and have a second consecutive stay of execution? After the last check-up, where I was told I was “looking good” the best I can hope for is that nothing has changed/grown/appeared in me and they’ll want to see me in another four months

I find that, when I get into times like this, I start listening to older/heavier music and it really calms me down - maybe it’s an outlet for my frustrations and inner anger at my situation I don’t know. Maybe it’s taking me back to times when I was younger and life was so much healthier. Not that would change any of my life now, apart from the Big C thing so maybe it’s me regressing to a time when I was healthy and didn’t constantly worry on every little ache and pain.

Right now the stereo is taking a bashing with some old Ozzy, makes the hairs on my neck stand up!

Off to see  “The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian” at noon today, we sat and re-watched “The Lion, witch and the wardrobe” the other day in preparation.. I can’t wait.

Tomorrow at 11am is my next scan, no big shakes but  it’s the precursor to me finding out what my immediate future holds. I am completely shit-scared and can’t think straight today. Like I say, tomorrow isn’t the day I get the news but it is the first link in the chain isn’t it. I have to wait until July 11th to get the results and find out what’s going on (if anything) in that head of mine.

I think that over the past couple of months we have gradually gotten used to a *relatively* normal life and not worrying too much about that black cloud hanging on the horizon. I thas been nice not having to worry about every little pain and ache to see if it was to progress to anything more major. Now we are back in the hospital loop (scan/check up) it all comes flooding back and I think if the news this time isn’t good it is going to hit me/us a lot harder that it did last time. I think last time we couldn’t quite take it all in, and now having these last three months or so of lesser worry levels, a shot of bad news is going to sting us all badly.

Fingers crossed.

My sickness has been continuing up to now, I am now being sick five or six times per day I went to see the GP this morning and she got me to give some blood for testing, and prescribed me some rehydration stuff and some anti-nausea tablets. The thing is, when I was in hospital having my chemo a couple of years ago I couldn’t take any anti-nausea drugs ’cause they made me feel worse, really sicky :/

I have an appointment on Thursday at 4pm with the GP again, she said I may have to be admitted to hospital to be rehydrated! That would mean I might miss the wedding etc, not another one Fingers crossed I shall be fine and that’s not going to happen.

H is worried that it is the Beginning of The End, I’m not so sure and there’s no way I’m bowing out of this World through being sick and dehydrated - I want to go out properly and not through some petty ailments.
I am feeling pretty tired again although that’s probably due to the lack of fluids and lack of food (not being able to keep anything down at the moment)..

Since Monday I have been off the steroids, I’m not sure if I am experiencing some of the “come down” side effects or not though.. hopefully I will lost the last bit of weight they made me put on

My reduction in steroids (Dexamethasone) continues, I am now on 0.5mg a day which is a sixteenth of what I was on in hospital and an eighth of what I was on when I got home. The steroids are to reduce any potential swelling in my head and the gradual reduction is to see if, at any point, I still need them (I certainly hope not, they are doing me some internal damage I think..).

One of the side effects I think I am experiencing is “Stomach upset, increased sensitivity to stomach acid to the point of ulceration of esophagus, stomach, and duodenum” - my stomach is pretty poor, I went to my GP recently and told him and hence my rather thin diet I am on. I have tried a few cups of tea, a bit of chocolate etc and have found that they do affect my stomach rather badly so the diet stays, at least for the time being… I’m hoping that when I go back to seee my GP in a week or so he will be able to give me something to ease/cure my stomach’s sensitivity