riddlermarc

Just sat in hospital, minding my own business when I happened to catch sight of my wedding ring and I had a really proud, bursting feeling in my chest.. yeah it’s a lovely looking ring but it’s not just that- it is what it symbolises that makes the difference.
People said before we were married that “it’s just a piece of paper, nothing has to change” but IMHO it has and everything feels different, a little tighter all over perhaps.
I love my wife, and I love to tell people ” this is my wife, Hayley”.

Enough of the mushy stuff, I’m going to stick some Metal on my headphones at a loud volume and do some surfing!

They AREN’T going to plump for surgery as the neurosurgeons think the spacing of the three lesions covers too much ground so it’s not viable. Radiotherapy is going to be the way forward, I have to wait to see Dr Hamilton tomorrow morning to find out what the plan of attack is but probably something like I had on my head (ten days of average doses of twelve minutes a time).
They are fairly confident it will at least halt, if not shrink the lesions and give me most, if not all of my leg mobility back. They are pleased with my current leg strength and how I am responding to the steroids up to now.
I have a catheter (wee bag) in at the moment as the spine problem is refusing to acknowledge when I have to have a wee, they don’t know if this will change after I have the radiotherapy.. I may have to have a bag strapped to my leg permanently but as long as I don’t wear jeans quite as tight as I used to I should be fine… more positive than negative but they just can’t be sure and it’s a small price to pay for a life extension.

I feel a little more confident after what has happened the last few days, I don’t think I’m going to die any time soon so that is a definite bonus!

I had a bedside visit this morning from Dr Simmons’ Registrar (or was it SHO/HOSO, I can never remember what they are!), she checked me over and was satisfied with what was going on. It seems she is pressing the neurosurgeons today for an answer as to whether they think surgery is the way forward, if it is too risky etc. The choices going forward are:
1 - Surgery to remove the main, middle lesion and then targeted radiation on all of the lesions.
2 - If surgery is too complicated/dangerous then radiotherapy alone is the way to go. Problem with this is that because the spinal cord involved they have to be careful how much radiation they can give me..

So, a little more waiting but the lady who saw me earlier said things will be done asap and definitely this week.. I am pretty scared to be honest, never been the bravest for things like this but the words “surgery” and “spine” should never be used in the same sentence!

Will let you know what’s going on as/when I hear anything

.. had the bods round this morning with the results of my MRI scan last night - seems there are three “lesions” (tumours) on my spine, one at the top, bottom and middle (T5, I’m sure Wikipedia would show where that is!). So I am now officially out of my almost-remission.

They think that a dose or two of radiotherapy would help to either shrink it down and stop the effects, or at least render the lesions non-dangerous

The T5 one is that is pressing on my spine and causing the problems to both my legs and my lack of weeing problem.. I can feel sensations of wanting to go but find it impossible TO go - hence the rather unflattering catheter and bag I now have fitted. Should have had these fitted for nights out ages ago, saves bothering to go to the WC!

Long and he short of it is that the cancer is active again but they seem confident some radiotherapy will stem it

Sat here in the chair by my bed listening to some Testament, chewing on a tube of BBQ Pringles and waiting for H, my mum and brother to come down around noon.

Further updates will, I am sure, follow as and when they happen

EDIT: I suppose it’s a good thing is that it’s on my spine and not my head, would have been a lot worse if my head had erupted again :O

Me!

Well, a funny few days have passed:

H and I got to Newquay Thursday afternoon and checked into the hotel just fine - bit of a problem as our room was right at the top on the third floor (no lifts).. lovely view of the beaches, harbour and sea (pictures to follow).
I was a little unsteady on my feet but managed to get through the day with the aid of a walking stick (not cool!) and we had a chilled out evening.

Friday morning I was more than a little worse, my balance was totally shot so we hit the beach for a walk on the flat, hard sand which was cool. Then we had a little mooch around Newquay centre which was cool but I tripped and fell flat on my face - fell flat on my face which was never a good thing and I was SO embarrassed!
We made it to the harbour, sat down and made a few calls (Macmillan nurse/consultant oncologist etc.) and it was decided we should return home for an early trip to Basingstoke A&E on Saturday morning.
A frantic 45 minutes packing and we made it to Newquay station and we jumped on the next available train (cost another £105 but hey) and made it back to Basingstoke by midnight.

Saturday morning H and I packed a bag each (we know the drill now) and headed up to A&E.. seen pretty much straight away they conferred with Southampton and in light of the worry I wasn’t able to pee any longer (sensation is there but nothing happens) they decided they wanted me in Southampton. Quicker to go under my own steam (well, Steve gave us a lift) than to wait for a non-emergency ambulance we quickly diverted home and picked up more/different stuff for what we rightly assumed would be a couple of days stay.
I had a set of x-rays taken not long after I arrived and come 9pm last night they whisked me down for an MRI scan.. took SO long and was so hot I fell asleep, despite the clatter of machinery skimming round my head.
Came back up to the ward and fell asleep pretty much straight away, missed Match of the Day though

Sunday morning brings the prospect of waiting to see if the consultants have any news, good or bad, so I am just lying propped up in bed listening to some Dougie MacLean on my headphones and surfing the web from my laptop via a really slow mobile connection - I have had to turn off image downloads in Firefox to make most sites usable!

Although we spent a huge wadge of cash on what was just 26 hours in Newquay, we both think it was definitely worth it. I think we both new something was hovering just over the medical horizon and the Thursday was our 10th anniversary of being together so it had real special meaning that we made it to Newquay at least fot that day. SO glad we made it, things liek that make everything worthwhile.

Pictures to follow, we seemed to take a load in those few hours as if we needed to pack as much in as we could

She likes a vigorous stroking, makes her look a bit mad though

It’s my birthday today and I finally got to open the large pile of pressies/cards I was given at the party on Saturday :)  Once again, many thanks to everyone who showed up to make it an excellent night!
One of the ones that stands out a little was the guys/gals from work chipped in for a go on a Flight Simulator Experience jobbie, it looks fantastic! Perfect excuse for me to break out some flight sim (FSX) again and get practising

Also, my extended family in Kent bought me a couple of Lotto tickets, one of which won me £10 so thanks for that!

I’m not really feeling any older than I did yesterday, 36 isn’t too bad an age to reach (especially as I didn’t think I’d make it!) so it’s cool.

Of course, the big present is still to come - when we get back from Newquay we will be taking delivery of the puppy (tentatively named Luna). We are all really looking forward to it, I expect the cat isn’t though..