riddlermarc

I don’t know what I have done to deserve this but my back is killing me. It all stems from when we received our new bedstead last week but hadn’t received the matress. “No matter”, we thought,” well use the existing one for now.”  Seems it wasn’t a good idea, the combination of the two threw my back out big time. I’m having trouble trying to find a comfortable sleeping position and painkillers/Deep Heat spray aren’t really doing anything

H has a sore neck as well, she tweaked it when sitting down on one of our dining chairs and is in agony - we are a right pair!

Well, after waiting an hour in the waiting room to see the Consultant we finally found out why - Basingstoke had forgotten to send through my scan results and Southampton were chasing them there and then to get a faxed copy. We went in to see the Consultant (my old doctor Dr Simmons) and he checked me over with no problems found. Then he said as soon as they received the fax copy he’d ring me to let me know the results.. as we were leaving the consulting room, a nurse rushed in the fax hot off the presses and we went back in the consulting room.

A quick read of the report later, Dr Simmons said that everything seemed okay - no oddities in my trunk, liver, lungs etc and my head showed no change from the previous scan four months ago.. all in all a glowing report again! I was convinced I wouldn’t be so lucky as to have two good reports in a row but hey, I was wrong.

So tonight we are off to my sister’s 18th birthday party, should be a great night - everyone has been told to dress up smart and NO jeans.. so shirt, trousers and jacket for me

Thanks to all the wellwishers who send us messages this morning, maybe your good thoughts DID help to swing things - thank you

Off to my next check-up in twenty minutes, will update as/when I get home.. keep ‘em crossed!

Well it’s just over a week till my next check-up and I am already getting worried and more than a little scared - can I be really lucky and have a second consecutive stay of execution? After the last check-up, where I was told I was “looking good” the best I can hope for is that nothing has changed/grown/appeared in me and they’ll want to see me in another four months

I find that, when I get into times like this, I start listening to older/heavier music and it really calms me down - maybe it’s an outlet for my frustrations and inner anger at my situation I don’t know. Maybe it’s taking me back to times when I was younger and life was so much healthier. Not that would change any of my life now, apart from the Big C thing so maybe it’s me regressing to a time when I was healthy and didn’t constantly worry on every little ache and pain.

Right now the stereo is taking a bashing with some old Ozzy, makes the hairs on my neck stand up!

Off to see  “The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian” at noon today, we sat and re-watched “The Lion, witch and the wardrobe” the other day in preparation.. I can’t wait.

Well, finally sold the car (seeing as I can’t drive at the moment) and I feel really gutted, really emasculated I sold it to my brother, Steve, and I know it is going to a good home so that’s not the worry. It’s just another nail in my coffin (so to speak) for the Marc of “old” - compare me now to the me of a year ago and I am not the same person.

On a different note I had my scan today and have to wait until July for the results.. I have had a wicked headache all day today, so I am watching the France v Italy game then going to bed

Tomorrow at 11am is my next scan, no big shakes but  it’s the precursor to me finding out what my immediate future holds. I am completely shit-scared and can’t think straight today. Like I say, tomorrow isn’t the day I get the news but it is the first link in the chain isn’t it. I have to wait until July 11th to get the results and find out what’s going on (if anything) in that head of mine.

I think that over the past couple of months we have gradually gotten used to a *relatively* normal life and not worrying too much about that black cloud hanging on the horizon. I thas been nice not having to worry about every little pain and ache to see if it was to progress to anything more major. Now we are back in the hospital loop (scan/check up) it all comes flooding back and I think if the news this time isn’t good it is going to hit me/us a lot harder that it did last time. I think last time we couldn’t quite take it all in, and now having these last three months or so of lesser worry levels, a shot of bad news is going to sting us all badly.

Fingers crossed.

I’m feeling a bit less sick now, I think the past few days of relatively mellow eating has really helped. I have some pills from the GP that are supposed to help, but now I’m on only five tablets per day so it’s easing up.

I am still pretty tired a lot of the time, but that could very well be down to the fact I’m eating only child portions of food at the moment and breakfast is a no-no

Still, onwards and upwards!