riddlermarc

I awoke one Sunday morning in June 2005 with a serious pain in my left side, it hurt so much even breathing so my partner called an ambulance and I was taken into hospital. After a couple of x-rays showed nothing very interesting, they diagnosed a mild inflammation of my diaphragm and a couple of anti-inflammatory tablets brought the swelling down and the pain stopped. I was released a few hours later and thought nothing more of it.

Ten days or so later, my partner called me at work and said someone from the hospital asking to urgently speak with me. I called the number and spoke with a doctor, who told me that as a standard procedure they review all x-rays before filing them away and upon closed inspection mine had an egg-sized shadow on it. Straight away I went back for further x-rays and they confirmed a lump sitting just behind my left lung.
The doctors were not initially worried; they said that because it didn’t show any spiky characteristics usually associated with cancerous masses and it was most likely some minor “fatty mass”. However, rather than just performing a biopsy, they said it would be pretty much just as easy to remove the mass so I was booked in for a routine operation in September 2005.

September loomed on the calendar and I started to get a little nervous, I think deep down both H and I thought there may be more to it than a random “fatty mass”.
I assumed I was looking at a few day’s stay in hospital and then a couple of weeks off work to recouperate, unfortunately that turned out to be rather optimistic.

I went into hospital the day before the operation and settled myself in, trying to contain my nerves as I hated the idea of a general anaesthetic. Come the next morning, I expressed my concerns to the nurse and they arranged a heavy sedative a couple of hours before the operation.. it did help but I found myself a tearful wreck as I was wheeled out of the ward and down to the theatre.

Once in the theatre, they opened me up to remove the mass but on inspection they couldn’t see it. After some searching, they realised the x-rays had been misleading and the mass was actually inside my left lung. Realising this wasn’t as straightforward as initially thought, the surgeons kept me on the operating table whilst they rushed a frozen section sample of the mass to the lab for a preliminary analysis. The result came back that it looked distinctly cancerous, but would need further investigation to identify exactly what type. Left with no choice, the surgeon removed the lower lobe of my left lung to make sure the entire tumour was removed. Stitched back up, I was wheeled back to the ward to come out of the general anaesthetic.

During this time the doctors broke the news to H that, rather than being a straightforward operation, the mass was cancerous and they had had to remove the lower lobe of my left lung to try to ensure a clean excision.

As a precaution they put me on six cycles of heavy chemotherapy, my hair fell out and my body pretty much failed with the damage from the chemo but it did seem to work as I had nothing showing for a couple of years.

Not much happened after that, the three-month checkups all came back safe so I carried on living my life until..

March 2007 I had a massive  brain haemmorhage which I was really lucky to get through - that night I nearly kicked the bucket and all my family came down to see me “just in case..”. I pulled through and carried on my life, pretty much no effects from the stroke so I was cool.

Then I had my second stroke in August and after a scan they realised there were three “anomolies” in my brain, seemingly one of them had caused my first haemmorhage.

Stroke #3 was onstage at my brothers’ gig, I went up for the last song to jam to Paranoid and that familiar feeling crept over me - surely not another stroke? Yep, a fairly bad one and the ambulance guys had to strap me into a stretcher and carry me down the stairs etc. Harsh.

October 2007 I had an op to remove the tumour at the back (the only one that was close enough to the surface to get to).. the whole area was full of clotted blood and general crap from the haemmorhage. Test results came back that is definitely was cancerous and I was put on a course of radiotherapy to try to halt the other two..

Scroll down for updates..

As a starter for ten, this song pretty much summed it up for me and kept me going:

Foo Fighters - On The Mend

One more day that I’ve survived
Another night alone
Pay no mind I’m doing fine
I’m breathing on my own

I’m here
And I’m on the mend
I’m here
And I’m on the mend my friend

Wake me when the hour arrives
Wake me with my name
See you somewhere down the line
We’re tethered once again

I’m here
And I’m on the mend
I’m here
And I’m on the mend my friend

I’m here
And I’m on the mend
I’m here
And I’m on the mend my friend

Was it you?
Who said hello
Here we go

Close your eyes and stay a while
Take me when you go
Single file we walk the mile
Wandering back home

I’m here
And I’m on the mend
I’m here
And I’m on the mend my friend

I’m here
And I’m on the mend
I’m here
And I’m on the mend my friend

Was it you?
Sat alone
Here we go
Here we go
Here we go
Here we go

UPDATES:

19th March 2007-First big stroke
August 2007 - told of *threee* anomolies in my head
August 2007 - second stroke
September 2007 - third stroke at gig
October 17th 2007 - op to remove rear tumour
October 23rd 2007 - told the news of lump they removed *was* cancerous
November 10th 2007 - My hospital appointment yesterday made it clear I am looking at a max of a year, the secondary tumours are there and a 110% threat. Radiotherapy will give me time but I’m screwed..
November 13th to November 29th 2007 - radiotherapy course
March 2008 - Told the cancer had been slowed/halted/removed due to the radiotherapy, wait till July 2008 for next scan for revised situation.
May 2008 - off the steriods entirely now, a few headaches but that’s to be expected..
July 2008 - a second stay of execution, my scan was okay and they just want to see me in four months time